Don’t Let Your Expectations Trip You Up: Why a “Go with the Flow” Approach to Recovery Works Better

David R Penny • October 18, 2024

We all have ideas about how things should be. These are our expectations, and they can really affect how we see the world and what we experience. But when it comes to getting over addiction, having the wrong expectations can actually make things harder.

Photo by Jp Valery on  Unsplash

This week, a new medical study came out where people were given spicy food. Those who were told it would be super spicy felt more pain, even if it wasn’t that hot! It’s like their brain was tricked into feeling more pain because that’s what they expected.

The same thing can happen in recovery. If you go in thinking it’s going to be a huge struggle with tons of cravings and problems, it probably will feel that way. It’s not that these things aren’t tough, but worrying about them beforehand can make them seem even worse.

Another thing is, recovery isn’t always a straight line. There will be good days and bad days, maybe even some slips. That’s normal! But if you expect everything to be perfect right away, you might get discouraged when things get tough.

It’s also important to be kind to yourself. If you keep thinking “I’m weak” or “I’ll never get this,” it can actually make it harder to succeed. It’s like you’re setting yourself up to fail.

So, what can you do? Here are some tips:

  • Be realistic: Recovery takes time and effort. There will be bumps along the way.
  • Think positive: Focus on your strengths and believe in yourself.
  • Be kind to yourself: Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from them and keep going.
  • Get support: Talk to people who understand what you’re going through.
  • Stay in the moment: Don’t worry too much about the future or dwell on the past.

Just like those in the study who enjoyed spicy food weren’t as bothered by how hot it was supposed to be, people who have a positive but realistic attitude about recovery have a better chance of doing well. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and to go easy on yourself.

If you want to read the study, check it out at medscape.com

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Together We Can Alcohol & Drug Recovery & Education Society offers information, education, and treatment services in the lower mainland, based in Vancouver, British Columbia. Services include spousal and family support, workplace education, detoxification, outpatient counselling, opioid dependency programs, and residential treatment. Together We Can has counsellors and therapists with specific training in addiction issues.


Don’t Let Your Expectations Trip You Up: Why a “Go with the Flow” Approach to Recovery Works Better was originally published in Together We Can on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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