We just had a once-ever-365-day type of opportunity. We all know exactly what we’re talking about too.
Once a year, the clock strikes midnight on the 31st of December and we get the start of a New Year. Fresh Start.
Only this time, it’s actually a Fresh Decade.
Collectively, let’s all take a deep breath. Let’s all say, all together, at the same time, “we’re going to start doing things a little differently”.
No more of the nonsense.
No more being unreliable.
No more being scared about your own actions.
No more worrying about what you did last night.
No more dishonesty.
The lot of it. No More!
I’ve got an idea – but we’re going to need to get some questions out of the way first.
How does it sound being the man that your family relies upon?
How does it sound being able to hold a steady job?
How does finishing the school that you put down a while ago sound?
How about not being a liar? Cheater? Thief?
How about acting with honour?
How about being able to feel again? Like really feel.
How about getting your kids back? Your wife? Partner?
How about starting a family?
Here’s the dirty little secret: you can do all of that. It’s pretty amazing actually – you can do anything you set your mind to.
How do I know?
I’ve seen hundreds upon hundreds of men just like you make the decision to change and actually see it through.
You’re going to need to do a few things.
TIME TO DROP THE ACT
No more “I don’t actually have a problem”; no more denial; no more running away from our problems; no more trying to lie our way out while actually only digging a deeper hole.
Drop the act that is actually doing more harm than good.
The joke was on us anyway, everyone knows we have a problem – most people are just too scared to approach us.
It takes courage to change; playing the strong man whilst dying inside isn’t brave.
REACH OUT FOR HELP
It’s amazing – when we finally do just put our hands up and let out a big “I give up” – people start flocking to us wanting to help.
Everyone is scared of our irrational behaviour, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to help.
When we finally admit that we don’t magically have the answers in our back pocket, people start being willing to give us their time.
No one likes a know-it-all.
Everyone likes humility.
It’s time for us to be humble.
FOLLOW THROUGH ON CHANGE
For many of us, the jumping-off point to a new life came through addiction treatment, also known as rehab.
Perhaps that isn’t you, but if it is, just lean into it. Don’t be scared.
Many people think ‘I don’t need treatment – that’s for drug addicts’.
That’s right. It’s for drug addicts, alcoholics, and anyone else who needs inpatient care.
Drug addicts, alcoholics, and people with issues come in all shapes and sizes, not to mention all types of backgrounds.
Grew up with money? Big deal. Hollywood might have the most addicts per-capita in the world.
Highly educated? Don’t think for a second that plenty a Fortune 500 executive has been to treatment.
When you’re going to be at night, having dealt with colleagues, friends, family and everyone else in the world all day, you only have yourself.
Do you want to be happy with how you conduct yourself? Do you want to feel confident with the path that you’re on? Do you want to be able to stand tall through adversity?
The bottom line is that you are you. Whether you realize it yet or not, you are strong and courageous. You’ll have to deal with your circumstances as they are though.
And it’s a New Year, so let’s deal with those circumstances now.
If you, or someone you know, has recently relapsed – reach out. We are here to show you the way.