Gratitude & Reflection – Mother’s Day

My name is Rodrigo Pulgar and I will express my gratitude to my mothers. I see now how lucky I am to have been able to have two moms. I grew up with my stepmom Mellissa and was raised by her in my early years. I love my mom so much and she gave us her everything while raising us. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the easiest child to raise once my father was separated from us and I caused so much chaos and stress for my mom (Mellissa). I was too young to know what drugs were, but my disease of addiction was very much active in seeking out ways and means to not feel. Mellissa had to watch me self harm, go into hospitals, try running away, and be taken from our home into foster care. Although I was a difficult child, my mom never stopped trying to keep me and my siblings together, no matter the cost to her health and wellbeing. I remember all the sacrifices she made to stay in our lives no matter how hard our circumstances were. My mom fought with everything she had in her as a single parent to let us know how much she loved us, all four of us kids. I look back as an adult now and see the depths of love she has for us and no matter what life was like when I was young, I can only be grateful that she was always there for me then and now.

I met my biological mom when I was in my teenage years and made the decision to move in with her with my sister. This decision was so hard because I felt like I was leaving my stepmom for my biological mom that I had just met. My biological mom (Andrea) took us in where we met our other siblings and I brought all my chaos with me into her home. I started dabbling into drugs and self harming behaviours not to long after moving into my mothers home. Again, I caused my mother to have stress and pain from my choices. I ran away and disappeared for my addiction. Andrea never gave up on me, just like Mellissa, but my addiction didn’t care about that eternal love that a mother gives to her child. My mom worked tirelessly to raise 5 kids and I didn’t make it easy. I got put into the system as I was unwilling to be stable in her life. My mom never gave up on loving me though …Even though I broke her heart she was always there for me. For ten years she watched me self destruct in addiction, she endured Hospital visits, police calls, self harm, and worried if I was alive. I went in and out of treatment centers and with no success I kept killing myself slowly in addiction….

Mothers Helping with Recovery
Mother's Day Reflection - Addiction Recovery

 

Since coming into recovery August.7/2015 my mothers were there to cheer me on. My moms seemed like all the pain and worry I caused didn’t phase them and they were there for my new beginning. They were there to cheer me on and believe in me. After not seeing my stepmom for 15 years by the grace of the powers that be, I got to visit her as a healthy and sober person. I couldn’t have dreamed for that to happen and it did. What was even more powerful was that my whole family was reunited for a Christmas. I got to spend Christmas with both my moms and all my siblings. My moms were there for all of us again no matter the past, they just wanted to give their love as they always do. Both my moms hadn’t changed at all, like mountains, they went through all the seasons of life but stayed magnificent and strong. Moreover, my sisters Gaby and Andrea both have had children and now I am in a family of mothers that share their love with their kids, and they all inspire me. I have been able to stay clean in my nieces and nephews’ lives. I have been able to give back to my moms and be apart of their lives in a positive way. I want to give to them the love they always have for me. My mother is my fearless soldier when I feel to weak, she is my guru when life has me lost, she is my hearts investor when I am bankrupt, she is all my healed scars, she is all the light in my darkest places, a mother is selfless…..

Happy Mothers day to my moms and all the mothers!

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